It might be due to the fact that I've left it until the last minute, or maybe to the fact that I really know little about poetry, but I'm having a hard time. If given free range, I can write fairly decent poetry. Unfortunately, when faced with the task of writing an Old English alliterative verse, with use of a caesura and with four stressed syllables in every line.... I start to draw blanks. It only needs to be twelve lines... but I've been stuck on the first four lines for the past hour. Poetry is friggin' hard.

What the hell happened to April showers?

I don't remember any rhymes about April snowfalls. I thought winter was over. I know I'd complain if it were raining all the time. Rain makes my hair frizz out. It makes everything muddy. It makes worms crawl onto the sidewalk so it's like walking through a field of non-life threatening land mines of gross squishy-ness.

Still, I love using umbrellas. I love coming up with nasty things to yell at people if they splash me as they are driving by. I love Singing in the Rain... the movie. It's classic. I just wish I could make myself swing around light posts like that.

At the moment, mostly I'd just like to have a little rain because this weather is making me frosty. It makes me think nasty thoughts.

I was thinking to myself earlier about whether or not I'll ever get married and have kids. My beautiful oldest sister is pregnant with number three. So, it just got me thinking if I would ever have any of my own. I know that I'd like to. Not any time soon that's for sure. Still, I was trying to picture it. I couldn't. In my head, I see only two scenarios.

One: the only guy I ever love and want to have children with won't want me

Two: the man I marry dies within the first year of marriage

When the weather doesn't quite meet up to my standards I get like this. Unfortunately, that's most of the time. Maybe I should move somewhere... I don't know... not in Canada. I wonder if I'd be happier by the equator. Or in a plastic bubble. I need more sun. I need more warmth. But not too hot, because I faint.

Kind of a funny story, I was at a wedding with my second oldest sister during the summer. It was a nice breezy day. I was in a big church. No one was standing remotely close to me. The doors were wide open and air was circulating. I still managed to faint. I even sat with my head between my legs for about ten minutes. No such luck. As I tried to walk outside for air, I blacked out but didn't pass out. I just couldn't see. I managed to sit on a pew and then two people helped me outside where I finally collapsed. Thank GOD the bride and groom didn't notice. Still, for the rest of the evening I had every single friend and family member come and ask me how I was doing or what was wrong. It's amazing how annoying it gets when you have no real answer other than... "I overheated." I'm such a dork.

What can you do?

For the past couple of days things have been going amazingly well. Two wonderful things in particular.

First, I was accepted to UofA. Very exciting. It turns out the program I completed almost a year ago at SAIT just wasn't what I had in mind. I knew that a good couple months in the program, but I wanted something that I could do for a couple years until I figured out what I REALLY wanted to do. I was always falling back on the idea of history or english. So, in the end that's what I've decided to do. It's a good thing too. I pretty much hate my job right now. I don't know if I could survive more than a year.

Hating your job is not a fun thing. It makes it a lot harder to wake-up in the mornings for one thing. It makes Mondays a lot harder too. There's nothing like that feeling of getting into work on Monday and about half hour in wishing that it were Friday. I've never had a problem with Mondays before. But now I do. Mondays are the worst days.

One of the main reasons I hate my job is because of this stupid, ignorant newfie that I work with.... actually,that I worked with. That's the other piece of wonderfulness... today he quit!!! And I know it was because of me which makes it all the sweeter. My manager called a meeting for production to announce that he had quit, and I honestly had to fight back from laughing. I was that happy.

It's understandable I suppose. To be honest, I hated the guy. I know that people always say 'hate is such a strong word.' But here's the thing, it was just strong enough to explain how I felt about him. He had an amazing talent for making me feel like trash for not knowing how to do something. No one makes me feel like that. I don't like it.

I had no previous experience going into my job. I had a diploma from SAIT for basically what I do, but 95% of what I know now I learnt on the job. I've had to learn a lot on my own. Three months in, just as I was getting comfortable, my coworker/superior quit. And I hardly knew anything at that point. I don't have anyone that I can run to and ask for help. Still, I'm not a fool though. I can gather enough information from people around me or figure things out on my own. But if a situation arises where I don't know how to do something I don't need to have it thrown in my face. Let's face it, we aren't all 40 year old men with 15-20 years experience. I haven't even been there a year. I can only learn through trial and error because who is there to correct me? Cut me some slack. And most people at work do. But this guy would not. Most days I would just roll my eyes and suck it up. I don't need to be this guys friend, I just need to work with him.

And the story comes to its climax...

Last week... for the last time (which I know now)... Todd (jerkoff's name) comes up and complains about the setup of some plates -- pretty well insinuates that I am an idiot. I couldn't take it anymore.

First off, we have these forms now where offset is supposed to fill out how they want something setup. I did my setup exactly as requested. To be fair, some important details weren't given to offset when they received the form. I have no issue with that. I would never think they were morons because they made a mistake. Even though it would have been inconvenient to me, I would have done my part again and never even flinched. It's my job. It's what I'm paid to do. Just ask me nicely. But when you act like it's my fault when it wasn't my fault... no way. I'm tired of people always refusing to accept responsibility for their errors and instead pinning it on my department. If we make mistakes, we admit to them. At least have the courtesy to do the same.

I was seconds away from marching downstairs and making a big scene but I calmed myself down. Instead, all I did was write a note that said

We do as requested on the form so if you want something done write it on the form or at least make a note that we need to come see you.

My little synopsis was much ruder than the actual version. I used more words and even though it said essentially the same thing, it was much less offensive. There was a big fuss downstairs about it though. I think my manager could sense that I was upset because I ended up being called to his office to talk about it. One thing I've learnt in the past months is not to pussyfoot around things. I'm not going to pretend that something is okay if it's not. I was straight up and said I've tried all I can do, but there's just no way to work with the guy. I try my best to just ignore him and go on with my work... but I was in a bad mood and I couldn't do it. He had caught me on a bad day. Normally I'd be the mature one. As far as I was concerned that day, he's twice my age, mature enough to get married and have kids, he can be the bigger person for once.

I was able to avoid him for close to a week. He never set foot upstairs, and he rarely answered the offset phone and I loved it. The other senior pressman (Brian) was away for most of the week following that fateful day so my manager didn't want to talk to Todd right after the incident (good thing by the sounds of it). Brian got back today, and so it seems that the talk took place... and Todd wasn't mature enough to make the changes he needed to make. So he quit.

So if you're out there Todd: Let's toast... to never seeing each other again... to you not finding a job in Calgary... to you slinking back to newfoundland where your marriage will inevitably fail... and then hopefully to your repenting your asshole ways and becoming a nicer person. Lay off the weed. Lay off the booze. You made my bloody day.

And Larry: Thanks for coming through bud. I'm sorry I ever doubted you

....... and scene

So after a long hiatus I've decided to start writing my blog again. Really there isn't much going on, but I plan on going back to school and I'm afraid that I've lost too many brain cells. I figure that I can slowly regain them by reading more and writing more. EVEN if I start off just reading storybooks or writing nonsense that no one will read. It's better than nothing. No topic to discuss today, just simply to say I'm coming back and that if I get anymore of those stupid comments on my blog that they "found it informative and used some of my information" I'm going to crack some skulls. Let's be serious, since when do I write anything of use?